About: My interests include game theory, cherry lip gloss, and the letter J.
Location: FBI Surveilance Van
23391 followers |20382 friends |29625 tweets
20 latest tweets
We love you and we need you. Please, if you’re in crisis, please reach out. https://t.co/4XTCVmJuy7
@DrJenGunter The year after my son was born, I got two mutated versions of the swine flu and it did permanent damage to my heart. #flustory
@justboozer Bahahaha! I love this tweet. And you, natch.
@kandeejohnson Your feed = your house = say whatever you mean. And don’t apologize for it.
@zipbagofbones This would be me, closing the lady bits for business.
@iamkarinwithani I may never have sex again.
@augusten “Wait... are you a girl?”
How I Built My Family From The Internet - Role Reboot https://t.co/3IwFpHJ7Tv
@eraugrad That’s unsurprising, unfortunately. I’m going to pretend it’s real because omg.
Fiber one bars should rebrand themselves as what they actually are: fart bars.
RT @_jorn: @mommywantsvodka Does “Florida Man” feel one-upped? He should.